Saturday, July 30, 2005

lossless armageddon

Hi all. It's a nice saturday morning here. The sun is shining. My mom is cooking breakfast in the kitchen. My dad is reading the papers in the living room. Our maid sofia is doing the laundry. My neices is doing stuff neices do. I am writing a blog.

So i said earlier before that i'll tell you all about why i'm feeling down and out on my birthday. Here goes.

Earlier on, my boss gave me three tasks to be done. First was to update and debug a web application. Second was to learn and monkey with a new software tools and last was to upgrade a software which is due not until two or three weeks.

On my birthday, I presented the software tool to my collegues. It went horibbly since I didn't have the chance to fully test out the software. Well, not that I don't have the chance actually. I was preoccupied with my other tasks, so I put this one on secondary priority. I presented the best i can and everything went from ok to horrible when people started to ask questions. Yikes.

Then, after fending off questions with 'uh-huh' and 'gee, i wouldn't know', my boss and one other collegue went to a client site to do software installation. The installation went fine. It was the testing after the installation that's sucked. I guess it was wrong of me to assume that the software was in good condition. Thank God i managed to stall the testing by doing some ad-hoc user requirement elicitation. We talked and talked about the system, how it shoud be and then its already lunch hour. Saved by the bell.

We went back to the office. I was feeling quite totally down now. Then my collegue threw me a surprise party! yeay! Normal people would've been ecstatic. It would've cheer them up. Too bad i'm a pure pessimist. The surprise party feels sarcastic. You know what I mean?

Of course not. You all are optimistic, happy-go-lucky friendly types.

Well, it feels sarcastic because not all of my office mates seems eager to celebrate. Most of them just sit in their places and feign a smile.

Feels so fake. Made up. In fact, it IS fake and made up.

Maybe I should have a round of diablo now.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

48 more minutes

today is my birthday.

I'm glad that it is almost over.

Maybe I'll write about it tommorrow,
when everything is normal again.

thank God for fridays.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Almost Good

I've managed to recover some of the lost files. The important ones at least. The source codes, and the bulk of ebooks.

Yippeee... all is not lost... yet.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

sudah jatuh, ditimpa tangga, tangga pulak patah

I accidently snagged on my portable hard drive's USB cable earlier today. The drive was pulled right from the top of my cpu to the floor. Now, its broken. The PC could not read the drive. It will cost me about RM 450 to get a new drive.

The sad thing about it is that the drive holds my previos C++ projects and source codes. It is something that I value. It is like my personal code repository. My library. Oh, and there's those collections of ebooks.

Another sad thing is that, the day before, I backed up my home PC's storage drive into that portable drive. I am reformating my home PC to reclaim back some lost storage space. So, those data backups are gone too. So. It's like, in an instant, I lost all my previous work.

I got a parking ticket today too. It'll cost me RM 50 to pay for the compound.

When I got back home, I found a letter from mesiniaga addressed to me. Yeps. You guessed it right.

Then, when I got to my room. I realizes that all my home PC drivers was inside my portable hard drive.

Now, I am now bracing for more tragedy.

Maybe it is the jinxed season. My girlfriend had a series of jinx too. So is her friend.

Offal Space

The moment my office PC powers up, my mind goes blank.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

bad boys, good boys

A friend of mine says that a recent scientific research founds out that chicks really are attracted to bad boys.

I guess it was an unproven fact until recently.

I am never a bad boy (but i've done bad things tho).

I don't see myself as good.

So that leaves me no other choice...

I am EVIL.


Tuesday, July 12, 2005


I was chatting with dude tamin just now. He told me about how he stumbled upon our old collegue from our old company while he was going to get his lunch. This old collegue of ours is the guy I so loath when I was with the old company.

A little bit of back story. This guy I loath, he resigned from the old company after me and a couple of my collegue kicked some of his dirt up. Maybe he resigned because the old company was on the verge of bankruptcy, but I alway attribute his expediate departure with our little conflict there.

Some more elaboration. After a couple of months job hunting, the guy managed to land himself a job with Schlumberger. A big fat multinational company, dealing in oil and gas industry. It is known that his salary falls around the vicinity of 5k. About twice what he's getting in the old company.

I felt rather disappointed in knowing that. Since, the main thing I don't like about him is that he is incompetent in doing his job as a project leader and manager. I even question my own fate. I see myself as somebody that contributes and him as a person that gets a free ride. Yet, the person that gets the free ride, gets the free ride. Of course. But you know what I mean.

Back to the chat with dude tamin. So dude tamin told me some more that the guy told him that he is disappointed with my other coleagues. The ones that he thought was his confidants and cigarette buddies.

Hearing that, I felt a welling hatred for that motherfucker. Yes... motherfucker. I am not sure why I felt angry. Must be because of the fact he is convinced that he is in the right. That he sees the people that accuses him of slacking, as evil spawn of satan. Maybe because, even when meeting dude tamin by chance, he managed to slip in some poison into dude tamin's thoughts. You know? It is the way he accuses those coleague of his of betraying him, in a not so direct manner.

But that is not the point here. I am not going to waste this entry with curses. Nope. This blog is about lies. So, read on.

After chatitng with dude tamin. I went down, and have my dinner with my parents. It was an ordinary dinner. The meal was mostly composed of left overs. I am not too big on left overs, but I am but a guest in my mother's home.

So my mom talked. She told us about her experience when she was teaching at school. This one particular experience. She once have a student, a standard six student whose father was retrenched from his company. Her father, without work, told my mother that his daughter won't be able to attend extra classes held for standard six student facing UPSR that year. The reason being, of course, that he's out of work and can't afford to pay the 10 ringgit per month tuition fees.

My mom, being the compassionate person she is, decides to sponsor his daugther for those classes. And so, she forked out 10 ringgit each month for someone else's daughter, while her youngest son could not enjoy the occasional kam kam, ding dang and sumi. sumi jelly manis. Oh how i yearn for it in those days.

Later on, she told us that, when processing the school's SPBT (skim pinjaman buku teks or text book scheme), she found out that the girl's mother's monthly salary was about 5k.

A little bit on SPBT. SPBT is a book loan scheme targeted to school children from poor to low income families. Parents have to report their total household earning to the school's SPBT board for review. Parents owning more than the target families will not qualify for the book loan.

Back to the SPBT story. The girl's mother alone earns more than enough to support a family, and thus the familiy is not eligible for the book loan.

A while after that, the girl came up to my mother, and told my mother that she needs sports wear. I think her father sends her in hopes that my mother will be kind enough to sponsor her again. This time, knowing that the family was well off, she said something like this (and I can't really recall her exact words) ' to educate a child, parents have to contribute too '. And she never heard anything from them since.

The truth is, after hearing my mother's story, I am reminded of God's test. How everyone of us is being tested. We are given wealth as a test of our humility, gatefullness and a slew of other virtues. We are striken with poverty to test our strength and willfullness.

So here's the lies. That guy I so loath, could fail miserably in his test. bwahahaaha

ok, so its not a happy ending.

Maybe this is a test to see your tolerence to crappy conclusions. So how did you fare? Good? Not so good?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

haute arte!

I'd like to share with you all, my friend's latest piece. Behold!

dilla-elara: fblqkjewfnlqkw

Yes, sublime, enigmatic and angsty. It's a sin if i do not share it to the world.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

sucks as hell

Neways, lately I don't have much pressing tasks to do. Felt left out.

When I have stuff that need to deliver immediately, I whine about how it is hard to do.

Well, it is impossible to please me.

Monday, July 04, 2005


Just now, I ate one of those premium choc0lates with alcohol. My head hurts. I dunno if it is the alcohol or the weather. Now, I'm feeling a pang of guilt. It makes me somewhat religious.

A little bit of self redeeming: it was an accident. The big CEO dude just got back from overseas and bring along lots of chocs. High end stuff. I didn't think twice when eating it. In fact, my chinese colleague said that it might contain alcohol. Since he could smell the stink. I thought its just the prunes. It is some sort of a choc with prune jelly inside. Seems that the prune jelly was in fact rum or something.

Anyway. It did make me a lil' bit more religious today.

Talking about religion. I watched a movie the other day. Its not really a movie, it more of a documentary with a short background story used to emphasis the message being discussed. The documentary shows a lady tryin to cope with depression and is on the verge of nervous breakdown. Interspersed in the movie/documentary are monolouges by scientist, philosphers and urm.. spiritualist talking about anything related to what the character in the drama is facing. At first it seems to be about science and quantum physics. The universe in a scientific point of view. But, nearing the end, it gets more and more philosophical and religious. At the very last moment, the scientist, philosophers and spiritualist says that... i quote "religion in traditional sense are misleading, God is is all around us and within us, there is no right or wrong".

That makes me wonder. How did they know that? And they sounded like the very people they condemn.

But there are interesting stuff in the documentary though. go here. And there this other one, the scientist talked about one matter existing in two place simultaneously. I can't find anything about that though.


I watched the movie casablanca today. The movie reminds me of the english patient. Both movies are set at around world war two, in arabian soil. Both tells the story of forbidden love. Both have the leading male as an outsider living in arabia as a permanent resident. Both have the leading female fall hopelessly in love with the protagonist. Both have a scene where the leading lady are involved with some bazaar haggling and the guy tells her that she's being swindled by the shop keeper.

Maybe the english patient was a remake of casablanca. But that couldn't be, since both have a very different plot line.

I prefer the english patient though.

But the moral of both of the story is that, if you are living in arab countries (dubai for example), you are irresistable to tourist chicks from your own native country. Provided if you could help her haggle for stuff. Preferably some real expensive stuff, like a prada hand bag or manolo blahnik shoes. And you're even more irresistable if she already have a husband/boyfriend (boring ones).

Sunday, July 03, 2005


Ah, I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic here. I think I better get out more.

lazy sunday

I'm sitting in my room alone, listening to coldplay. Through my window i could see the silhouette of my neighbour's maid doing the laundry. The sky is hazy cloudy. The air is calm and chilly. Feel's like its going to drizzle. Maybe not.

Somehow i felt contented. Even more contented when I think about how there are a lot of people out there that wish to be in my position now. Sitting lazily in my room, with no worries.


Somewhere in the world at this exact moment, somebody is dying.
Somewhere in the world at this exact moment, somebody is being yelled at by their boss.
Somebody out there is heartbroken.
Somebody out there is stuck in traffic jam.

And I'm here in my room, listening to good music. Had a good breakfast. With no chore to do and errands to run.

A bit bored though.