Sunday, March 25, 2007


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Thursday, March 22, 2007

disaster just a click away

lately, every time i discovered a bug or a typo i did on my programming, fear grips me. How easy it is for that simple typo or bug to have drained my time if it were missed.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

the bread that nobody wanted

I bought a turkey bread yesterday. I bought one whole loaf of it for everyone. I brought it home, and placed it on the kitchen counter with the rest of the breads. I hoped the bread would be loved. Equally, or maybe more, by the whole family. I hoped so because, that bread is a special bread. It was made with love. It was kneaded with care and passion. It contains turkey. That was why it is a special bread.
I came home today, i wanted to have some of it. To feel the love, the passion, that the baker put into it. I wanted to feel alive. To have the bread fill this emptiness inside me. To make me whole again. Yet, before i managed to do so, i changed my mind. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe i should have gone to it despite all the circumstances. Maybe i should have more courage, and claim it to be mine.
Now, the bread lies on the kitchen counter. Alone. Unwanted. The love. The passion. Wasted.
Do you know how it feels? Do you know how it is like? To be brought into this world. Through an act of love. An act of passion. But yet, upon arriving, you found out that you are unwanted? that you will be discarded?
My heart sank when i heard those words. "We don't like it. It's the turkey. We don't like turkeys in our bread. Take it somewhere else, or eat it yourself."
I hope, with all my heart, that the bread will forgive us. I will take it with me tomorrow, and i wish it will be welcomed in the new family.

Monday, March 19, 2007


terasa cam nak layan balik.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

parking parking

Went to the office today. Turns out that the security guard is not around. The gate is chained and pad-locked. So much for getting the demo ready.

Demo. We'll be having a demo for our client this coming monday. Top guy from the client will be checking out our progress. So everybody is getting things done, integrating stuf, building mock-ups to show to the representative. But amazingly, i don't feel pressured like i should.

300. I so want to watch that.

Pregnant. My wife is already pregnant. 10 weeks. Come october, i'll be a father. Hopefully i'll be as kewl as orked's dad. Although i don't like football that much.

I'm currently parked right outside of my office, waiting for the security to come back from home. I should feel guilty for having the fella come here to open the gates. But thankfully, there's a colleague of mine waiting along with me too. Parked next to me, and surfing the web via the office wireless accesible from the outside. We'll share the guilt. If any. I think the security should've not left the premises anyway. Not that i mind if they skip work once in a while. Not my dad's company at least. Hope the stuff in the office is insured.

I've not been writing lately. Probably because there's nothing to publicize. publicize.

How's married life? People would ask me. The normal things that we often hear is that, with marriage, comes great responsibilities. That's the burden of marriage. You are still you. You are still the same person as the one in your shoes, a day before marriage. You are that same dude that flunked engineering back in 1999. You are that same dude that got caught watching porn in the high school library. You are that same person who throws tantrums because your sister didn't want to share her chocolate. You are still all that. Yet now, you need to be diligent, punctual, thoughtful, patient, psychic, able to scale vertical walls, shoot webs from the forearm and able to leap from a skyscraper to a skyscraper. Spiderman 3 should have the motto 'With marriage, comes great responsibility'. Peter Parker did marry Mary Jane in the last movie.

A week or so ago, i went to a wedding, sat next to a couple, whom soon to be married. While waiting for the ceremony to begin, the guy asked me 'any tips for me? i'm getting married in 3 weeks!'. I was stunned by his request. For a few seconds, i can't scrape anything in my mind. So i said to him 'left down, left down, right down, right down'. An advice that'll surely make Mr Miyagi proud.

'But you're not making any sense taqi!?' says my faithfull blog reader.

Well, no, that was not what i said. But i wish i would've told him something about responsibility. Something about how you'll never be you again. You can try, but you will fail.

As Mr Miyagi would have said, "left down, left down, right down, right down'. It was simple, it was tedious. That's the whole thing about responsibility and growing up. We have to go through life bit by bit. Take up responsibility little by little. But those little things might overwhelm you, as it comes in droves.But hopefully, at the end of the day, we will be a better person. and able to shoot web from our arms.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Children of Men!

Watch it! i love it so.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

The famed cewek bandung

This particular speciment is the upper class ones
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Them and Us

They call mineral water aqua as we call hot chocolate milo.
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