Thursday, June 30, 2005

blogger's block

Hi my name is Taqiyuddin. I've been blogging since December last year. I am now suffering from blogger's block.

Today, I was sent to my company's client site to deliver hardware kits. On top of that, I was given the task of taking the company's projector for a presentation at the client site. Thank God the projector is one of those mini portable ones. I am starting to feel like a dispatch boy.

Lately I've been experiencing absent mindedness. I kept forgetting things that need to be done and things that I need to keep track of. I am starting to feel that my boss is frustrated of me. Maybe thats why I'm getting those low responsibility tasks, like buying goreng pisang and such.

Maybe this absent mindedness is the reason why I'm having the blogger's block.

I think the whole reason I'm having this absent mindedness is because I am not yet comfortable with my work environment. The surrounding. You know? When you have to juggle a lot of unknown variables in your head. Like whats tommorrow going to be like. What's the person next to you is thinking. What's the boss is thinking. How am I supposed to debug that exception thrown. Those kind of things. Little little things that you'd never think about when you are in that comfort zone.

Comfort zones makes me stagnant. The unknown scares me. I like my room. I think i'll be a hermit.

That'd be kewl isn't it? Sitting in front of my PC. Communicating via the internet. Everything is stream onto my pc through open ports. When I feel threatened, I could always close the ports. And there you go, a totally controlled environment.

I got a parking ticket last two days. It was from the ever vigilant MPPJ. Fuckers. Their football club is good though. Did I ever tell you that they probably use the summons money to pay for the club expenses? Well.. I did. Oh, the ticket is worth 30 ringgit. At least it's 20 ringgit cheaper than I anticipated. I've anticipated the ticket though. I know I am going to be fined, yet I let it happen.

Come to think of it, I let a lot of things happen to me. Even though I've already anticipated it. I used to say that to really learn something, I have to experience that thing first-hand. Similarly with behaviors. To change my behavior, I have to experience a life changing event. Like being fined, being dumped. And a host of other things.

I think I'll stop writing now.

I wonder...

How do other people write blogs? Do they write each word as it come to their head? Or do they do the outline, then flesh up paragraphs and review and revise the entry?

I do wonder...

But maybe that depends on individual preferences.


Dils said...

me -
write each word as come into head

Anonymous said...

lately i kept forgetting to pay for what ive ate. Daymne.

me..write each word from my heart, then rewrite it using my brain.

Anonymous said...

lol... u should quote that line

Anonymous said...

hahahaha..that does not mean i punch the keyboard using my brain. poor english heh? hehe