Tuesday, March 22, 2005

parenthood

My brother have two daughters. The eldest is quite noisy, talkative and playfull. The youngest is a bit introverted.

Since their eldest is hyperactive, I get to see how my brother and his wife discipline their child. Oh, sorry. I did not get to see how they discipline their child. What I do get to see is, how they spoil her. My mistake.

There are countless times when their did some potentially harmfull acts and they would just sit back and do nothing about it. I would cringe and think to myself 'Why the fnck do they allow her to kick the ball to the general direction of the sleeping babies?', 'What are they thinking when she's trying to grab that glass full of orange juice?', 'Where are they when she's annoying the house guests?'.

I do wonder if this might be a revolutionary way of raising your children. Maybe this is a way to make them grow up to be independent, confident and outspoken person. I have no idea. I am no child psychology expert.

Again, I wonder how I would fare being a father. Will I become apathic like my brother? I often say to myself that I will not raise my children the way my father raise me. How true will that be? I objected to the way my brother raise his daughters, but maybe that is the way he thinks he would like our father raise us.

I objected to the way my parents discipline us, but then I objected the way my brother did not discipline his daughters.

I contradict.

I'm a walking contradiction ...

kerrannggg jenggg jenngg jennngggg jennggggg

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Contradict eh?
Raising our kids very much depends on our current way of life. If u were raised not to speak during dinner, does same goes to ur children? Not necessarily. Maybe u and ur spouse found dinner a time to speak / talk / discuss freely. And ur children will see this, and if they found it good, they will follow.

Nevertheless, parents have the responsibility to tell their kids "Do not kick the balls towards sleeping babies", "Don't grab that orange juices" etc. However, since kids have active minds, encourage them to think. Don't just forbid them to do things. Explain. My approach would be "You can't kick the balls there because...." or "Carefull with that glass, because it might spill..". Be strict in a gentle way & with a cause.

So, Taqi, ready to be a father now? hehe

-Pydd-

CremeBrulee said...

I happened to be talking to someone about this earlier today. I would like to think that I won't be be the father that my dad was to me (I have a feeling a lot of people think the same way). However, I think that usually, kids tend to pick up their parents behaviours and traits, simply because that is what they're used to. Someday, while you're thinking "I'm glad I didn't turn out to be like my parents", you're gonna slip and do the exact thing they did. "Luke, I have become my father!"

Yours Truly said...

I always think of what type of mother wud I b..Well, some said that I'm gonna b a "garang" one since they said I am "garang" to my little brother.. hehe..

Anyway..I always plan on having 4 kids when I'm married..But I dont even plan on how to raise 'em..But I do hope it'll turn out like Gilmore Girls..

hmm...~
agak2nye cute tak eh? =P

taqiyuddin bakir said...

ooo gilmore girls... hot mama

iceroll said...

I will just "Hoi!!" at them, and they will understand what suppose to do.

- a friend of piiown- said...

hmm...i think i luv the way my dad raise me....rotan2 skek...since i always up to mischief.... ahaks....in a way i do accept 'rotan' as a penalty for what ive done ....mebbe at tht time i dont know whether it was extremely dangerous or not....so bile kene rotan tuh...i knew la...what i did might harm me in an extreme way.....so tade la wat lagik...

as i grow up...14...15...my dad stop 'rotan'ing me....he was more to reasoning and 'psycho'ing so that i could think it over...hmm n never in front of my other siblings..coz..he knew tht it will embarass me ...

and he never use harsh words such as 'anak tak guna'..'bodoh'...or something like tht.....

n more or less....it works!

i certainly would raise my kids like my father did!

ckin said...

for me...simple..teach them the way u like to be teach..may be for me i will treat my kids with totally diff way with my father did, but totally with wat my mum teach us...do not scold them , but try punish n reward systems, its worked... try to be fren and try to be enemy...try to be a gud bro n sist to them...
(easy talk now coz u dun have one yet, but the real situation make us cry actually)

Yours Truly said...

kinda worry how's my daughter will turn out..my father always said 'anak perempuan plg susah nk jaga'..i guess he sure pening kepala taking care of me..huhu~ =P

taqiyuddin bakir said...

aku rasa dia pening kepala sbb takut ko beromen² ngan bebas. kalau aku ader anak pompuan hot macam ko, aku pun pening gak. in fact, kalau aku ader gf macam ko pun aku pening kepala gak.

tapi aku rasa pak ko kene lagik risau ngan ko nyer adik tengah la... takut dia gi beromen² ngan bestfriend dia plak

taqiyuddin bakir said...

asal comments² entry aku kali nih agak thoughtfull dan intelligent?

taqiyuddin bakir said...

isk, best pulak letak comments kat blog sendrik... taqi i love you~

Yours Truly said...

"in fact, kalau aku ader gf macam ko pun aku pening kepala gak."

why eh? am i a troublemaker? =(

taqiyuddin bakir said...

Asrol once said this to me; 'Hidup mmg banyak masaalah. Kalau takde masaalah tuh, tak idup la namanyer tuh'. Or something like that.

So I guess asrol is living THE life now.

I do not mean it in the sense that you bring critical life and death problems. No. It more like that little² problems that will tell you that you are alive and living it. You are the salt and pepper of asrol's life. Too much of it makes the life 'masin' too little of it, makes it 'tawar'.

- a friend of piiown- said...

ahaks....

i do think all gf r the troublemaker for the bf.

me included!

sometime i do things intentionally because just wanna give my bf a headache!...ahaks

but then...when im tired of throwing pranks....die tenye lak...'what's wrong with me?..xsehat ke?'

hmm...so i do think that i hv to continue give him a headache just to make sure he got a peace of mind!!

is it make sense?

iceroll said...

wahahaha..nih dah lari dr topik dah nih..

but anyhoo i would like to give my opinion too..

I would prefer masin than tawar. I know too much masin in ur food is not good for ur health, but what is the meaning of life if u have to eat something tawar the whole life?

Yours Truly said...

All the pening2..that's the challenge when u're in a relationship..